r3lz

What path am I taking? It’s funny how we describe life as a set of choices and paths that we are able to take yet when we take one we don’t exactly know what the next step will look like, or what it even looks like as we are walking down the path. We only know after and still, most likely, have no set name for that ‘path’. There are things we want to do in life. There are things we will do in live. These things shape and mold who we are. But what does that even mean? It means nothing. It means everything. Confused yet? Good, you should be.

To Do:
Learn how to play the drums-
Get all A’s in college-
Become enlightened.

That’s all for now.

I look out my window and see the fog coming towards me,
Wrapping itself around old fashioned light bulbs hung in the streets,
Sweeping over miles and miles of layered cement on earth,
A blue unimaginable to the human eye-
Sets on the other side
of this thin glass
Protecting me from the ocean’s harsh echoes.

Sounds like an adventure to me.

Consists of classes
Textbooks
Piles and piles of notebooks
Bags and bags of tea
A slight cold
Sinus head ache
cough drops
Cold misty mornings
Delicious books
Music.
Showers
Steam
Fire drill
And definitely melon, yogurt, and dark chocolate.

<3.

Because the most beautiful things in life aren’t always the most important to societies standards.

Skipping records and new views from new windows
Conversations that begin things
Beginnings
Tea that turns from hot to warm to lukewarm to cold
Terrible poetry with no meaning
Placing words together
Perfectly piecing silence
Coffee drips though generations of first year college students
Remember
Don’t forget
Forget
Create and re create
‘Mr. Blue, I have to go now darling don’t be angry’
People and lights and cities are waiting for me
Yearning for my feet to touch sidewalks
Counters waiting for me to mix my creme and sugar
Books manufactured just for my fingertips to open
A world of knowledge sitting on concrete
Just for us.
A generation seduced into molding their own American Dream.

Breathing
Controlled breath
Turning the page of a book
Dark rooms
Thumb rings
Being independent
Hugs from people who mean something to me
Feeling welcome
Sleep
Escapes
Warm embraces
Calm
Peace of mind
Ambition
Motivation
Water

‘This too shall pass’<3

Tired.
The carpet rubs against the bottom of her bare foot.
The door stays open
Power outlets line her flesh
Without enough energy to remember why she was built.

Molecules resting on air
Atoms erupting
Replacing
Cycling
An uneasy routine that never changes pace.

Her eyelids close
Her mind runs in fast forward
Constantly
Exhaustion walks through her veins
They replaced her nerves with chords and slowly her heart is turning into nothing but a machine
Built to pump blood
On perfect time.
Nothing else.
Nothing.

She sits on empty couches
She watches the people walk the streets
She sees them holding hands
She envies the woman running with her dog
She observes the smiles plastered on faces that only tell the truth

As she sits
Skin slowly fading to dust
Metal rusting over
Chords breaking down
Trying to remember why she was built.

Please just don’t play with me
My paper heart will bleed.

“You don’t know what love is
Until you’ve learned the meaning of the blues
Until you’ve loved a love you’ve had to lose
You don’t know what love is”

–Chet Baker